Dissecting the most interesting/obnoxious Cup Finals storylines

Update: Check out this very interesting (and odd) SCF preview from Alexander Dubcek.

Let’s take a look at the big storylines of this Finals re-match.

Hossa-gate

Somehow this was the only Pensblog Hossa Photoshop I could find. Arrrrrgh.

Anyone who discounts this as “just a media creation” is totally nuts. When a free agent signing causes people to create Two-Face Photoshops, there is obviously plenty of relevance to the situation.

However, I’m one of those Penguins fans who was happy to see him leave (although strictly from a salary cap stand point). Simply put, Hoser is a great player who is not worth $7 million. We can gnash our teeth debating that point, but there are only a few players who can justify a cap-busting contract. Can you say that Crosby-Malkin-Hossa would be worth having awful depth for the next five years?

Surely, the guy’s face kind of pisses me off. Will I scream to the heavens if Brooks Orpik knocks the shit out of him in the slot? Absolutely.

But Hossa didn’t come to Pittsburgh by choice, he was traded there. People act like Hossa was a long time teammate but he came to the team toward the end of the season, barely played any regular season games and then had a fantastic run in the post-season. It was great to see Sidney Crosby have a great winger for once, but let’s face it: losing Ryan Malone was more of an “emotional” blow than Hossa ever was.

The Penguins: favorites???

Going in to the series, it seemed obvious to me that the Red Wings should be the favorite.

1. They have home ice

2. Let’s face it, they fucking creamed the Penguins last year.

3. Don’t forget, Johan Franzen wasn’t healthy for much of the SCF. So the Red Wings basically are going into this series with the team that beat Pittsburgh plus Marian Hossa AND Johan Franzen.

Yet, a surprising amount of people are predicting the Penguins. I will root relentlessly for Pittsburgh and be depressed if they lose, but if I had to put my (future, imaginary, candy-based) house on the line my pick would be the Red Wings. (Sigh)

Chris Osgood

Penguins fans really don’t like Osgood. I’m on record for calling him a queef.

That being said, watching NHL on the Fly’s press conference coverage Friday night made me realize that Osgood probably has to answer the same goddamn tired questions over and over and over again. Seriously, if you were him, wouldn’t you start douching every one just out of the monotony of the “are you the weak link?” line of questioning?

Jesus I better stop or I’ll start empathizing with the Keebler Elf/non-Blue Smurf looking motherfucker.

(Oh, and PLEASE stop calling him a Hall of Famer. If you barely hold onto a starting goaltending job against Ty fucking Conklin, you’re not worthy of being in the HoF. Sorry, brah.)

The Health Factor

One of the bullet points MSM members have been using is the relative “health advantage” the Penguins have going into this series. I find this to be a heavily overrated idea.

Nicklas Lidstrom isn’t 100 percent but Sergei Gonchar is pretty banged up too. The Hurricanes weren’t able to take advantage of Gonchar’s bum knee, but it was obvious that the Russian veteran couldn’t skate quite as swiftly in a few odd man rush/broken play situations.

Obviously, the Red Wings have some depth guys who are banged up, but teams that make it this deep into the playoffs are almost inevitably beat up. Considering the fact that the Penguin vigorously block shots, we can assume they have some guys playing hurt too.

Don’t get me wrong, the Penguins might be a bit healthier but it’s a tremendously exaggerated advantage.

Star Power

After watching almost every second of the Penguins’ playoff run, I can say that the Penguins have some nice support players who show the ability to maintain a high level of play throughout a game. That being said, when it comes to scoring goals, the team is highly dependent on their two super-duper-stars.

In the salary cap era, that is far from shocking. But the Red Wings can go into this series thinking “if we can hold Malkin-Crosby to a draw, we have a bunch of depth players who can steal a game.”

Hopefully, Sid and Geno have shown skeptical hockey fans that they are worthy of the immense hype they’ve received. Annoying message board people will never go away unless they win a Cup, but the Penguins showed me plenty. Even if they have to settle for the Prince of Wales trophy for a second straight year.

Sadly, Red Wings have defense and team play like no team the Penguins have seen in the playoffs.

Again.

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