Archive for the ‘random tna’ Category

Internet trends: One Good, One Bad

March 13, 2009
Blogging trend (almost) only guys like: hawt babes

In our endless quest to inundate you with semi-recurring features, we present “Internet trends.” This is a vaguely loose post in which we’ll point out one good idea and one that should be erased from the Web for all of time.

Weekly/daily headlines

Puck Daddy is the reigning king of the hockey blogosphere, but PD is a good king to its subjects. (I’m writing this while watching “Role Models” if the royalty stuff needs explanation) Greg W and Sean Leahy post their Puck Headlines twice a day and they don’t just link the big guys. Bloggers big and small get listed and it is a fantastic way to give back to the blogosphere.

Greg W looks different without the cigar, doesn’t he?

PD’s not the only link-giver, as blogs like The Program, Stanley Cup of Chowder, (the possibly still defunct?) Going Five Hole and many others do that thing on a weekly basis. We try to offer something similar in the form of a weekly Morning Cycle.

That doesn’t even include the countless cross-linking that takes place in “gameday” posts. The blogosphere is a beautiful place.

Cheap ways to “get more click-thrus”

No doubt about it: I’m an endlessly shameless self-promoter. Things that I once derided are now daily occurrences, from Twitter updates to Facebook status and annoying links.

And, naturally, I want people to stay on CLS as much as possible.

But some things are just flat-out lame, particularly stupid Web site gimmicks that add extra links just to boost stats. This came to mind while searching Rotten Tomatoes, one of my go-to movie dork sites. The Web site has a great “Five Favorite Movies” mini-interview feature with big names in the industry and this time, they asked one of my favorite jumbo jugged actresses, Carla Gugino.

IGN is one of the worst culprits in these “click thru maze” schemes

To see Gugino’s five favorites, the site forced me to click on movie thumbnails. And I clicked … one until it occurred to me that her movie choices mean nothing to me.

Doing (minimal) research, it wasn’t surprising that RT is in the same network as, a video game site infamous for posting photos that link … to another link before you can get to the article.

Now, there may come a day when we sell out and do the same thing. Joining Twitter was a point of no return. But that being said, this is an annoying trend that we’d love to see end.

So, next time you come across these shameless re-routing links, go ahead and read the article. But then make sure to spend more time on their competitors’ site just to turn the knife in on those gold-brickers.

Because greed is good, but being a douche doesn’t serve anyone well.

Ilya Kovalchuk would look great in a different uniform … the news cycle!

November 14, 2008
Barry Trotz graciously accepts his Goofiest Looking Coach Award
  • Puck Daddy spotlights yet another great Russian interview, this time with mercurial sniper Ilya Kovalchuk. When Alex Ovechkin burst onto the scene in his rookie year, he was first compared to Kovalchuk and then to Pavel Bure once it was obvious who was the bigger impact player.

While he burnt me the year he was my first round selection in fantasy hockey, he still grabs my attention like few others. Really, with Ovechkin’s bumper car checking mentality, Kovalchuk might be a better analog to Bure. He certainly relates to Bure by playing in a struggling Southern US market without much help from his mediocre teammates.

His response of choice to the Thrashers-related probes was to say “wait until 2010,” the year he will become an unrestricted free agent. It’s obvious why there are trade rumors but the Thrashers would be insane not to throw all their resources at Kovalchuk. Honestly, he’s the only reason the franchise deserves to exist.

If he was in a better market or on a decent team, he’d be just a rung or two lower than Crosby-Ovechkin. It’s a real sin that he’s never been on a hockey video game cover as he ranks as one of the most unstoppable digi forces the polygonal world’s ever seen.

He brings up the fact that Barry Trotz works miracles with a Nashville Predators club that always seems to persevere through any number of calamities. It’s obvious why people do not want to bring this up very often: Nashville is a place meant for country music and inbreeding in the eyes of many. But Trotz is much like the NFL’s longest reigning coach Jeff Fisher, and not just because they’re both coaching teams in Tennessee.

They both enjoy and earn startling longevity in a sports world where “What have you done for me lately?” is the ultimate management question. (Eddie Murphy must be rolling in his grave.*) Also, Trotz wins the Goofy Looking Coaches Cup in a heated 7-game series with Jacques Lemaire and his comb-over.

* He’s not dead you say? Well, I say he died after Beverly Hills Cop and was replaced by an unfunny money grubbing robot. We all miss money grubbing but genius Eddie Murphy with his politically incorrect stand up and his fashionably incorrect loud leather suits.

  • Fans wrote in a request for the Penguins to play WHAM! for Alex Goligoski goals (man, how did people not know that George Michael was gay???). While that song will probably gain more support, I’d like to recommend a dark horse candidate in The Go! Team:

Miami Five-O for the win.

  • Am I the only one who gets annoyed that NHL 09 allows people to interfere so much? Every time there’s a loose puck, some online douche hits me illegally while trying to retrieve it. And a little part of me dies.

Cleavage: nature’s billboard

  • A lot of people are annoyed that Habs fans keep stuffing the ballot box. My main reaction is a whole lotta “Meh.” Although I agree that Habs fans should focus their efforts on continued bra stuffing instead.

  • During the switch from Time Warner Satan Cable to Hopefully better Verizon FIOS, I’ve been without Center Ice for at least three weeks. Every steak tastes less juicy. Every morning less crisp. Every wound less gaping.

Life will go on but the question is: should it?

The Busts and the Busty: An early look at fantasy hockey

October 20, 2008

OK, no one on this list is busty (insert Keith Tkachuk/Kyle Wellwood related obesity retort). But, really, it’s time for the wordsmith community to reclaim the word busty from evil yet often generous internet pornographers. Because of porn, the word busty can never reasonably be used as a direct verbal compliment for a woman.

That breaks my heart.

Anyway, now that we’ve gotten that ugly bit of mammorical conversation out of the way, let’s take a look at some of the interesting stories in fantasy hockey so far. This might be a little bit heavy on players who are on my teams, as they are the ones being followed most closely. To justify the headline, “busty” means unexpectedly good and you should already know what a bust is in sports gobbledygook parlance.

Bust: Ryan Geztlaf and the Mighty Ducks in general

This probably will not hold for the majority of the season, but it must be said. The Ducks have been a huge disappointment and no Duck is hurting fantasy hockey teams more than the balding young power forward Getzlaf.

Granted, his foibles at least were rather hotheaded PIM-heavy, so that was the silver lining in the shit clouds. But one point in 6 games is the kind of stats that made Ducks fans hate Doug Weight last season.

Busty: Keith Tkachuk

Heh. But seriously, the man once labelled “Ka-chunk” seems like he might reestablish his above average power forward status. So far he has six goals and four of them are on the powerplay.

For some reason, that stat line made me think of Trailer Park Boys. Whenever Tkachuk scores a goal there’s probably a catch-phrase challenged fantasy hockey owner dropping a “Baaaaaaaaam!”

Bust: Martin Biron

There’s always deals with the devil in fantasy hockey. Picking up Todd Bertuzzi due to his decent scoring ability and superhuman skill to take awful penalties is one example.

But sometimes you have to draw the line, as my late-to-the-draft roster is in shackles under a Chris Osgood – Martin Biron regime. Serves me right.

Busty: Quote-less Joe

It’s truly hard to put a price on that odd moment or two when fantasy hockey makes you feel sort of smart. This year’s catalyst, so far, has been Burnaby Joke Sakic. A lot of hockey people wrote Sakic off because he had a really rough year and is a little bit long in the tooth.

Surefire sign a player is old: for Sakic this wasn’t a throwback jersey

But this is where checking the context of a player’s stats is a key to having a few tricks up your sleeve in a fantasy draft. Even in a rough, injury ravaged season Sakic still managed to pick up 40 points in 48 games.

My logic in drafting him late in three of three drafts: if healthy, Sakic could reasonably hit 70 points this season. It’s always a tightrope walk with older players, but here’s a good general rule to follow in fantasy hockey:

When in doubt, go for the star player.

Bust: Henrik Zetterberg

My decision to draft Zetterberg over Joe Thornton seemed reasonable at the time. LWs are notoriously harder to come by than Centers. Zetterberg gets the FW of a center, shoots more often than a Spaghetti Western protagonist, should have a ridiculous plus-minus and looks like Jared Leto.

Find a better quadrangle than that and you might just get yourself a free donut.*

Still, this was a case of me over-thinking. Deep down, Thornton is the better player and Zetterberg is extremely injury prone. In the first few rounds it’s important to focus on reliable players.

Save the flashes of genius for when you’re at the bottom of the barrel.

Busty: Brandon Dubinksy

Doobie Dubinsky proved me wrong. When Dre scooped him up in Week 1, I snickered. Dubie’s had the last laugh as he’s piled up more points than anyone on my roster.

Maybe he jelled so well with Jaromir Jagr because he’s pretty damn good.

Bust: Daniel Carcillo

Last year’s overwhelming PIM monster currently has only four PIM and no points. Yeeech.

Still, this guy might be a solid buy-low candidate as a free agent pickup/trade throw-in. Highly recommended for those of you who drafted a team full of pansies.

Busty: Simon Gagne and Patrice Bergeron, massive head wound twins

Two other surefire sleepers this season were Gagne and Bergeron – both players are once-elite guys who had very serious injuries that ruined last season. For that reason, Bergeron especially slipped way under the radar despite being a veritable assist machine.

Gagne is the particularly promising guy because he’s a rare player with 50-goal potential. Plus, Bill Clement said Forsberg called him the purest shooter he’s ever seen in NHL ’08. That’s gotta count for something.


So, there’s a look at some of the ups and downs so far this fantasy season. As always, these things can change: next month the busts can be become the busty. And you never know where the injury bug will lay her evil eggs next.

Stay tuned and try not to invest too much of your soul into fantasy hockey, mmmkay?

* – Seriously, though, I’m not going to buy you a fuckin’ donut.