Archive for the ‘trade deadline’ Category

Living GM vs. Blogging GM: Atlantic division

March 12, 2009

To wrap up our Trade Deadline coverage, we’ll take a look at the big moves (and non-moves) in each division one-by-one. Did our contributors and their respective GMs see eye-to-eye? Would those guest posts provide a better reality than what really came about? Let’s take a look at the Atlantic division.

Real Life: Pittsburgh Penguins traded a bag of pucks for Bill Guerin

Tony Ferrante from The Confluence (Kukla’s Korner) said:

“If I were GMRS (GM Ray Shero), I’d trade Ryan Whitney for Chris Kunitz and Eric Tangradi (just kidding, but a good move). Then I’d trade Hal Gill and a mid-round draft pick for either another winger or an agitator (Neil). I would also not rule out some kind of move for another defenseman …

Boy, a lot of Pens bloggers wanted to get rid of Hal Gill but it didn’t happen. I wasn’t crazy about the Guerin pickup, but at least they gave up next to nothing for him.

Real Life: New York Rangers make typical crazy Glen Sather moves: they acquired Derek Morris and Nik Antropov for a second round pick, a conditional pick, Dimitri Kalinin, Nigel Dawes and Petr Prucha.

Patrick Hoffman from Goal Line Report (Kuklas Korner) said:

“However, the only thing that will probably happen this week is that the club will claim Sean Avery off re-entry waivers and dump a salary or two. A lot of Blueshirt fans will wish it will be someone like Wade Redden or may be even someone like Drury but believe me when I say that those two aren’t going anywhere.

To sum it all up, this team is stuck with the roster that Sather built during these past two off-seasons, for better or worse.”

Well, the Rangers are stuck … more stuck. OK, so the guys they added are UFAs but they lost two draft picks and some borderliners for not much. Sather’s always a good source of laughter.

Real Life: The Islanders get next to nothing for Bill Guerin. Fail to dump salary. Fail fail fail.
Dominik from Light House Hockey said:

“Oh wait, this was about trades? Well, in that case, sell, SELL, SELL! UFA Andy Hilbert is a useful defensive forward and penalty killer who’s having a “career” year (shhhhh: 10 G = career year). Take best offer. Same with Guerin (in the works) and even the injured Doug Weight, due back from IR by the playoffs. Parlay Dean McAmmond — who looks alive since coming over for Comrie — for scraps. If someone somehow asked me for Jeff Tambellini — who can’t score outside of the shootout or the AHL — I’d pay his airfare and meal tab.”

Nope, sadly, just Guerin. Oh well.

Real Life: The Devils decide to settle for their embarrassment of riches.

John Fischer from In Lou We Trust said:

“If I were the GM of the Devils, I would be hanging up the phone and saying the phrase “Sorry, but we’re not interested” over and over again over the next few days. Especially if the call begins with “We would like to know the availability of Travis Zajac or Johnny Oduya.” Basically, I’d ignore the trade deadline unless a team really, really wants Scott Clemmensen or Kevin Weekes and is offering an offensive defenseman.”

Bingo.

Real Life: Flyers trade Scottie Upshall, 2011 second round pick and a 6th round draft pick for Kyle McLaren and Daniel Carcillo

Flyers Goal Scored By said:

“We then would put everyones’ names around a dartboard, chug out 3 beers, and then fire 4 darts to see who is going. Then really hot souf philly girls would come into our office and tell us how awesome we were at “GM’ing” and then totally make out with each other, and then us, and then back to each other until 3pm. Then we’d high-five and crush a cheesesteak before falling asleep to old Rick Tocchet highlights. Being a GM rules … “

(OK, they also said that they should go after Jay Bouwmeester.)

Instead of going after Bouwmeester, the Flyers made a move for an immobile defenseman and one of the most undisciplined players in the NHL. In other words, they did the same thing they’ve been doing for …. 30 years?

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Blogger GM vs. Real-life GM: Pacific Division

March 9, 2009

To wrap up our Trade Deadline coverage, we’ll take a look at the big moves (and non-moves) in each division one-by-one. Did our contributors and their respective GMs see eye-to-eye? Would those guest posts provide a better reality than what really came about? Let’s take a look at the Pacific division:

Real Life: San Jose trades away Kyle McLaren, also deal for Travis Moen and Kent Huskins.
Mr. Plank from Fear the Fin said:

Interesting possibilities across the board, but at the end of the day I say stand pat and go with the roster. You have the high profile stars in Thornton and Marleau, a second line that could be a top line on many teams in the league, depth, experience on the blueline, Cup rings, agitators and veteran leaders. The list honestly goes on and on.

The Sharks didn’t do anything significant, but did move around some supporting cast members. Let’s say, half-right Mr. Plank.

Real Life: Los Angeles Kings ship Patrick O’Sullivan to Edmonton in three-way trade that nets the Kings Justin Williams
Rudy Kelly from Battle of California said:

A guy like Kopitar, you see, he’s in the Center #1/A/Sec. 43-B box. That’s a good box. A guy like O’Sullivan, on the other hand, is in the 32-1=”Box O’Shame” box, so we’ll see where that goes.

Rudy called it … kind of? I think. Oh my God there’s blood coming out of my ears!

Real Life:For Derek Morris, Daniel “PIM” Carcillo, Olli Jokinen, M. Tellqvist and a third round pick the Coyotoes added:

  • Calgary’s 1st round pick
  • Philadelphia’s 2nd round pick
  • Buffalo’s 4th round pick
  • Peter Prucha
  • Dimitri Kalinin
  • Nigel Dawes
  • Scottie Upshall
  • Matthew Lombardi
  • Brandon Prust

Odin Mercer from Five for Howling said:

Olli Jokinen has done alright for us, but I’d trade him in a heartbeat if I could get a good deal for him. Also, I’d trade Jovanovski for a bag of pucks to get rid of that money and give it to Morris. Just take a look at Jason Arnott’s goal against us on 2/26 and you’ll see why I’m eager to do that. After the recent losing streaks, I’d just grab as many high level picks as I could since the playoffs are out of reach again. Which sucks! So long as we don’t go trading for players we don’t need just to dump money.

Well done, Odin Mercer!

Real Life: Ducks trade away Sammy Pahlsson, Travis Moen, Kent Huskins in a couple trades. Earlier on traded Chris Kunitz for Ryan Whitney. Brendan Morrison was claimed by the Dallas Stars. (Takes a breath) Chris Pronger and Scott Niedermayer stay in Anaheim.
Earl Sleek from Battle of California said:

Option A (not that silly):

— Anaheim Ducks trade Chris Pronger, Francois Beauchemin, and Drew Miller to Buffalo for Drew Stafford, Nathan Gerbe, and a 1st

(And some other silly stuff.)

Wrong. But who could have predicted all of those moves?

Real Life: Stars do nothing but claim Brendan Morrison from waivers
Brandon from Defending Big D said:

The Stars aren’t in trouble because their main lineup is bad, they’re in trouble because of some debilitating injuries some very key players. Ride out the season with what we have and hope for the best.

Correct! Well done, Brandon.

Living GM vs. Blogging GM: Central division

March 8, 2009

To wrap up our Trade Deadline coverage, we’ll take a look at the big moves (and non-moves) in each division one-by-one. Did our contributors and their respective GMs see eye-to-eye? Would those guest posts provide a better reality than what really came about? Let’s take a look at the Central division:

Real Life: Blue Jackets send Pascal Leclaire and a second round draft pick to Ottawa for Antoine Vermette
Bethany from Bethany’s Hockey Rants mainly pleaded with Columbus to rid the world of Christian Backman.

Since my picks are rarely correct, here’s the closest I came: “The Blue Jackets have a great thing going. If I were Howson, I’d look for that one extra center. If they found the right guy who can slide right into Hitchcock’s system, they should finally make the playoffs.”

And Leclaire was the main image of the BJs section. Give credit, too, to Chris Kontos who predicted that CBJ would have to give up a draft pick. A rare win for the CLS gang!

Real Life: Red Wings do nothing
The Chief aka IwoCPO from Abel to Yzerman said:

“Denver fans are literally sobbing at the thought of Ian Laperriere joining the Wings, and for that reason I’d like to see it happen. We’ll see. My prediction? Nothing. No additions. Nada.”

Correct. Good job Mr. Chief.

Real Life: Nashville Predators do nothing
The Forechecker said:

“The first caveat heading into the deadline is, “no deals that make the 2009-10 edition of the team any worse.” This Predators team is hardly in the position to make a “go for it” type of acquisition, but there are two scenarios in which they could be considered Buyers.”

He ends up being half-right. Not bad.

Real Life: Anaheim Ducks trade Sammy Pahlsson, Logan Stephenson and a conditional fourth round pick to Chicago for James Wisniewski and center Petri Kontiola.
Clare from All Hawks Hockey said:

“If I were the Blackhawks GM, I would be hesitant to make any sort of trade. Adding another center would be nice but not at the potential cost that would be required in return. The Blackhawks have some minor issues that could be addressed but I believe the Hawks can be successful with the team they have now.”

Half-right. Chris Kontos and I guessed that they’d add a center. The question is: what was the “potential cost” of the Pahlsson deal? Was that peanuts or way too much for a guy who might just go back to Anaheim this summer? I’ll leave that to the commenters.

Real Life: Blues do nothing of significance
Brad Lee from St. Louis Game Time said:

“I would stand pat. The chemistry is good. The mix with young and old players is strong. They’re winning. It’s important to keep the long view of growing from within, but the fans are desperate for a chance at the playoffs. The energy around St. Louis and the enthusiasm for this team is really strong right now. So you can’t trade Keith Tkachuk. And I don’t want to give up any picks or prospects.”

Well done, Brad. That is correct.

Blogger GM vs. Real-life GM: Southeast Division

March 7, 2009

To wrap up our Trade Deadline coverage, we’ll take a look at the big moves (and non-moves) in each division one-by-one. Did our contributors and their respective GMs see eye-to-eye? Would those guest posts provide a better reality than what really came about? Let’s take a look with the Southeast leading off:

Real Life: Jay Bouwmeester
stays put.

What our Florida correspondent, Whale4ever from Litterbox Cats said:

“If I were running the show, Jay Bouwmeester would be a Panther until July 1st. I understand the potential lunacy of allowing the guy to walk for nothing, but I’m firmly in the camp that demands keeping the team intact through the end of the season.”

You are correct, sir.

Real Life: Ilya Kovalchuk stays put, the Thrashers trade Niclas Havelid to the New Jersey Devils.

Here’s what on of our Atlanta correspondents, Mortimer Peacock from Blueland Chronicle said:

“Niclas Havelid and Marty Reasoner to playoff contenders for draft picks. One of the goalies needs to be moved; what we get depends on whether we move Lehtonen, Hedberg, or Pavelec.”

Half-right. The Thrashers did, indeed, move Havelid but did not trade their goalies.

Real Life (or was it … seriously was this trade an acid dream or something?): the Lightning trade Olaf Kolzig, Jamie Heward, Andy Rogers, and a 4th round pick to the Toronto Maple Leafs for Richard Petiot.

We’re not going to count that one. Brian Burke, you dirty dog.

Real life: Washington Capitals do nothing.

CAPS chick from DC Cheap Seats wanted the Capitals to find a way to get rid of Michael Nylander. If not, she felt the team could use a vocal veteran presence, a puck moving D or a solid backup goalie.

Wrong, but time will tell if CAPS chick’s instinct was better.

Real life: Carolina Hurricanes trade Justin Williams for Erik Cole in a three-team trade that also involved Patrick O’Sullivan.

Cory from Canes Country said:

“If the Hurricanes were going to win, it would be riding the waves of Cam Ward and Eric Staal, not on some mid-level rental player. With the farm system improving, it wouldn’t be prudent to sacrifice a prospect or draft pick for a player like that.”

Actually, my post might have been the closest in that I perceived GM Jim Rutherford‘s taste for nostalgia:

“Maybe go after Doug Weight, Cory Stillman or Mark Recchi just for old times sake?”

Nonetheless, we were wrong. The Hurricanes went after a young rental player. Wow.

In the rear view; on the horizon

March 7, 2009

What a week. Like a lot of bloggers, it seems like we are still sort of recovering from the trade deadline. And we would argue that we stood shoulder-to-shoulder with some of the big boys when it came to our trade deadline coverage.

Let’s take a step back and look at some of the people who contributed:

  • The Forechecker” one of the hockey blogosphere’s most popular number crunchers.
  • The always entertaining Chief from Abel to Yzerman.
  • Another great contributor from Kuklas Korner, Bethany’s Hockey Rants.
  • We had three posts from the impressively growing Atlanta Thrashers blogosphere and four entries from Pittsburgh Penguins bloggers.
  • The Pacific division post was covered completely by my homies at SBN, including my BoC mates Earl Sleek and Rudy Kelly.
  • There were two great posts from the guys at Bangin’ Panger.

Really, it was an amazing experience as the hockey blogosphere keeps confirming itself as a wonderful community bursting with talent. We were able to cover every NHL team except: the Edmonton Oilers.

We never would have guessed that Oilers blogosphere would be the only side we didn’t hear from. Is Cycle like the Sedins too goofy and rough around the edges for the highfalutin Edmonton bloggers? Did our e-mails just get banished to Junk Mail Damnation? Did the Oil bloggers see our e-mails, roll their eyes and do the “jacking off” hand motion? Perhaps we’ll never know.

(That being said, no hard feelings. The door is wide open for Oilblogospherebloggers in the future. We’re just kind of surprised that the Oilers were the only team not covered.)

There might be one more trade deadline post comparing the predictions/”if they were the GM” posts to what actually happened, but don’t quote us on that.

Right before our massive trade deadline special, we announced the final All-Decade team roster.

We’re going to take one more spin-o-rama around the All-Decade subject and publish a series of posts that debate who will be on the Next decade team. Hopefully, you’ll appreciate it for what it is: a purely speculative, fun debate. The idea is still in its infant stages, so drop me a line if you’d like to be involved.

Next week should include more typical features like the Morning Cycle, Dance Partners, perhaps a Hockey Orphan entry and the usual weekly fare.

Things are going well here at Cycle like the Sedins, but we’re always looking for more great contributors. If you feel like your skills are bigger than just your team related blog or simply want to get in on the fun, drop me a line at jamestobrien@hotmail.com. No promises that you’ll become a regular, but Chris Kontos dropped me a line and now he’s kicking ass with routinely superior postings.

Anyway, stay tuned CLS-ers. Should be another fun week of hockey blogging and rebel rousing.

WHHHHHHATTTT? Cycle like the Sedins actually writes a guest post for someone else

March 5, 2009

My buddies I wouldn’t recognize on a city street at Bangin’ Panger axed me to add my thoughts to their Winners/Losers/Bamboozlers special.* After smelling how bad my belly button was, it dawned on me that I should “give back.” Then I whined a LOT. Then something else. Somehow I ended up writing something in the process.

Here’s the two that have gone up so far (we’ll throw up one more update link when the third one goes up):

The Winners

The above link includes MANY classy lines from myself and the Bangin’ gang, including:

“Beyond wife banging conjecture, the Oilers added a solid, versatile forward who has a year or two left on a very affordable contract and only lost a pending UFA (Erik Cole) who may have had his talent removed after Brooks Orpik wrecked his vertebrate.”

The Losers

“Gotta love the fact that the Philadelphia Flyers added yet another immobile defenseman in Kyle McLaren. Was Derian Hatcher getting lonely at the back of every Herbie drill? (Is Derian Hatcher still alive/on the Flyers?)”

* – That’s not what it’s called. Jesus.

UPDATE: Final thoughts

The Day After the Trade Deadline

March 5, 2009

Well hockey fans, we again weathered another trade deadline. Since there has been extensive coverage on CLTS, I don’t want to beat a dead horse. So I am going to give a brief wrap-up of the days events. Plus I am beat and I figure short and sweet is better than nothing.


The build-up to the trade deadline is kinda like Christmas. You can’t wait to see if your grandpa Shero got you a sweet Xbox 360 or a power forward to play wing with Sidney. Or maybe, just maybe someone got you a brand new car with one of those comically over sized bows on the hood. But most of the time you get a lame dolphin sweater or some socks or a 9th round draft pick.

That’s the fun of the deadline. You’re never sure what your team will “unwrap.” For example, last year the Penguins made their big move right at the buzzer and picked up Marian Hossa. My immediate response was glee, followed up by this statement: “He’s a rental player, no question. If we win the cup, it’ll be a masterstroke; if we don’t everyone will be pissed.” It was a gamble that damn near payed off. Of course, it didn’t. (FYI: I hate Marian Hossa.)

So to continue the Christmas theme, below I will review two of the big trades of the day and their gift counterpart. (I might just do a couple more trades on Sunday.)

Calgary gets Olli Jokinen for Matthew Lombardi, another guy and a draft pick:
For the Flames, getting Jokinen is like getting a second Wii-mote and Nunchuck to make your pretty fun Nintendo Wii (Jarome Iginla) super fun because now two can play. Could Calgary live without him…probably. But does his arrival make them potentially far better…definitely. Solid trade, great gift.

Penguins get Bill Guerin for a six-pack of Keystone and a bag of chips:
Okay, so it was a draft pick, but sheesh they gave up nothing. Look has Bill Guerin done ANYTHING notable in the past like four seasons? But…what I do know is back in the day Guerin played with this kid name Joe Thornton (you may have heard of him) and put up some decent numbers. More importantly, he was tough guy. If Guerin can return to that form with this cast of characters, great trade. At bare minimum he HAS to be better than Satan. Gift Equivalent: a sizable gift card to a store that could go under at any moment.

–Dre

Deadline dealings thru a video game prism

March 4, 2009

Since every one and their illiterate uncle Ted has this trade deadline covered in the “real world” let’s take a look at the trades that will impact NHL ’09:

  • Calgary Flames acquire Olli “Hokey Pokey Cancer” Jokinen


The digi-Flames always had one glaring weakness: offensive depth. Once you make your way past the greatness of Jarome Iginla and the pretty goodness of Michael “the appetizer” Cammalleri, there just isn’t many other guys to score cheap-o wraparound goals with.

Olli Jokinen gives them a BIG boost. They’re still not at the San Jose Sharks level of three-lines-deep magnificence but they’re pretty darn good.

  • Pittsburgh Penguins acquire Bill Guerin for peanuts

Easily the winner for “trade that will affect video games more than real life.” Guerin gives the Penguins what they’ve needed for a long time: a right handed shot. Plus, BG is WAY way WAY better in NHL video games than he is in real life.

(And will be, until EA starts rating players on “going into the corners” and “caring any more.”)

Off the top of my head, what the Penguins lines would look like

Guerin-Sid CrosbyEvgeni Malkin
Chris Kunitz – Jordan Staal – Petr Sykora
Matt Cooke – Tyler Kennedy – Miroslav Satan
Pascal Dupuis – Max Talbot – Jabroni

Now, if they’d only add a center who can win some friggin’ face-offs.

More to come, maybe. Although there weren’t many big deals after all.

The "If you were the GM" wrap-up show starring: Tony Clifton!

March 4, 2009

(Since each post in the Trade Deadline Special was Shamu-sized, CLS thought we’d put it all in one convenient little post. That was smart. What wasn’t smart was the fact that we decided to get Tony Clifton to host the wrap-up show. Here’s what transpired. If you’re unfamiliar with Clifton’s … unique voice, watch the Youtube clip below for an introduction/to refresh your memory.)

Tony Clifton: Ohhhh it’s the Hoooockey. Take me to the hockey game. Oh, it’s hooockey.

(Pauses)

Clifton: What the fuck is your problem? Huh, people?

Atlantic Division “If you were the GM” post

Clifton: I AM A STAR. I AM A STAR. I can fill a room. You people are a disgrace. I need this gig like a skate blade to the jugular!

(The crowd bustles with nervous, awkward energy. Clifton decides to mingle with the crowd).

Central Division “If you were the GM” post

Clifton: Whether I’m right … Whether I’m wrrrrooonnng. You’ve got to trade meeee. You’ve. Gotta trade me.
(Clifton clearly forgets the words to the song he already altered.)

Southeast Division “If you were the GM” post

Clifton: So, uh they asked me to announce some of the sponsors for today’s show. Let’s see.

(Thumbs through cue cards)

Clifton: Ehhhh … muscular dystrophy … Gold Bond medicated pads … Crown Royal … bullshit, bullshit my lines. Bull-shit Bull-shit Oh hey! The Clifton foundation.

Pacific Division “If you were the GM” post

(Someone cuts off Clifton’s mic)

Clifton (half-audible): HEY! What the fuck are you doing! I am a Cele-bri-teeeeee. I’ll have you fired! I’ll sue for breach of contract!

Northeast Division “If you were the GM” post

(Clifton is escorted out of the building by a team of body guards. He screams this during the process.)
Clifton: Someone get me BETTMAN! BETTMAN!!! BUTTMAN! BATMAN! … BARTMAN! Get your hands off me! I make more in one show than your family blows on Welfare cheese in a year! I am an artiste. BETTMAN! I’ll sue you all! I’ll own the NHL by next week! I’m going to re-name each team. You’ll be playing for the Florida Fuck Yous in a WEEK!

Northwest Division “If you were the GM” post

If you were the GM (Atlantic division)

March 4, 2009

(With the trade deadline upon us, Cycle like the Sedins decided to ask about 30 or so friends in the blogosphere to represent his or her team and answer the question: “What would you do if you were the GM during the trade deadline?

Since things change in a heartbeat, the date of each person’s submission is listed next to each entry. So before you start screaming “BUT THEY TRADED HIM!” while food spills out of your mouth, we’re showing what they thought at the time.

Don’t like it? Psh.)

Pittsburgh Penguins
(March 2)
Denson from Bangin’ Panger

Well, the Pens are on a roll lately…getting themselves back into the playoff picture. What, you may ask, has attributed to such a turn around? Obviously it is the arrival of this Jordan Staal character that must have come over with the Chris Kunitz/Ryan Whitney trade. Don’t know too much about this Staal guy, according to every game ever against the Hurricanes and Rangers … he has brothers that play in the NHL as well. Who knew?

So if I’m Ray Shero what are my next moves? Well for one, Shitan is traded for one of Jerome Iginlas extra mucles in-between his Tibialis anterior and Peroneus longus (the muscle that makes black people go real real fast)…and it is implanted in Hal Gill. Mario Lemieux comes out of retirement to replace Shitan to stand on the opposing team’s blueline all game…only Mario will score. Phillepe Bouche is traded for acid to fill Crosby’s tear ducts…so when Ovechkin bullies him, Crosby’s tears will melt Ovechkin. And a 2nd and 3rd round draft pick is able to fetch Malkin some Hooked On Phonics lessons and Crosby some Shit Talking Lessons with Joey Porter. This all would obviously make the Pittsburgh Penguins the favorite for the Stanley Cup.

(2/28)
Frank D from Pensburgh

Chris Kunitz picked up the same amount of points in the first period of the first game he played in Pittsburgh (1G, 1A) as Ryan Whitney did over his last seven games as a Penguin. If I were the GM I’d look to make that upgrade another 15 to 20 times.

(2/28)
Tony Ferrante from The Confluence (Kukla’s Korner)

If I were GMRS (GM Ray Shero), I’d trade Ryan Whitney for Chris Kunitz and Eric Tangradi (just kidding, but a good move). Then I’d trade Hal Gill and a mid-round draft pick for either another winger or an agitator (Neil). I would also not rule out some kind of move for another defenseman …

(3/01)
Stefanie from Steel City Sports

If I was Ray Shero, I’d be giving my “Big Guns” a rest right now and sleep through March 4th!!

Seeing as how Shero already pulled the trigger twice for big moves prior to the trade deadline, I’m hoping he’s not going to do much more.

He’s honestly coming out of this smelling like a rose right now anyway (seeing as how Bylsma looks like a Savior even though it’s more like his system that’s saving the Pens for now), but I still think his decision to fire Therrien sucks and the bottom line is that the Pens began their downward spiral in the off-season thanks to his “wise” decisions when he tried too hard to sign Hossa. That screw job was two-fold: 1) Hossa waited absolutely too long before he “told” us he wasn’t coming back which led to our losing alot of important / key players such as Malone and Ruutu among others (my readers know all too well my thoughts on this though as I’m still lamenting); b) Shero was crazy to wait so long to hear back from Hossa — these two things were the beginning of the demise of the Pens this season and it’s been too much to recover from — all at the hands of their own GM being too enamoured by one Marian Hossa (who I cannot stand at this point, but never really could)!


I’ve gone from thinking Shero was a genius to coming to my senses right now realizing that his most recent decisions make him nothing more than a screw-up. So here’s to hoping that Shero will be quiet leading up to the upcoming trade deadline as I believe Kunitz has been the spark we need to make it into the playoffs by the skin of our teeth!!!

Chris Kontos: Shitan is one of the funniest reverse-nicknames I’ve heard in a long while. The Penguins made a great pickup in Chris Kunitz, a decent offensive player who will pick it up even more with Crosby. The Penguins are going to struggle to make the playoffs but I don’t know if another move is really going to help this team.

James O’Brien: For hockey newbies, the spelling of Satan’s last name is high comedy. Once you get to know him more, you realize Shitan really is the better connection. Have to agree that the Kunitz move is paying dividends and all it cost the Penguins was a guy who wore out his welcome. No more moves needed until the summer.

***

New York Rangers

(2/28)

Patrick Hoffman from Goal Line Report (Kuklas Korner)

If I was New York Rangers General Manager Glen Sather, I’d probably be in hiding since most of my team’s fans are calling for my head on a nightly basis at Madison Square Garden.

In all seriousness, if I am Glen Sather, I would look into getting a finisher. Could that be a guy like Bill Guerin? Could it be someone like Illya Kovalchuk? If it’s guys like that they’re after, the team will have to shed some salary as well as a top player from either their current roster or their farm system.

However, the only thing that will probably happen this week is that the club will claim Sean Avery off re-entry waivers and dump a salary or two. A lot of Blueshirt fans will wish it will be someone like Wade Redden or may be even someone like Drury but believe me when I say that those two aren’t going anywhere.

To sum it all up, this team is stuck with the roster that Sather built during these past two off-seasons, for better or worse.

Chris Kontos: The Drury and Gomez tag team signing is going to haunt this team for a long time. Even after they eventually waive Redden. Getting the Dallas Stars sloppy seconds (too soon?) off of waivers is going to help this team a lot. Avery is at his best when he feels like he has a lot to prove.

James O’Brien: Jeez, it didn’t take long for the lockout intelligence to wear off in New York, did it? People are going to blast the Wade Redden signing (and they did overpay for a guy whose stock went down), but say what you want Redden at least at some point seemed talented. Michal Rosival and Chris Drury are the two signings that were the worst (although giving Scott Gomez a Brad Richards-type contract is pretty bad too) because these players never showed ANY evidence to live up to those contracts.

Drury, in my book, is one of the most over-loved players in the NHL. Sure, he’s a nice guy and has intangibles out the wazoo. But for a guy with a 60 point skill set, he sure gets deified a lot.

Anyone the Rangers can unload would be great. Aside from Henrik Lundqvist, the one player Sather somehow lucked into. Don’t you get the feeling that Lundqvist’s name was found on a napkin thrown out by a Detroit Red Wings scout or something? The Rangers are just such an terribly run franchise. It’s stunning.

***

New York Islanders
(2/28)
Dominik from Light House Hockey

If I were Garth Snow, I would:

Permanently change the uniform scheme back to the original royal blue version as with this season’s thirds, and never speak of any other Islanders uniform again. (Editor’s note: Amen, Dominik. You’re a wise man.)

Oh wait, this was about trades? Well, in that case, sell, SELL, SELL! UFA Andy Hilbert is a useful defensive forward and penalty killer who’s having a “career” year (shhhhh: 10 G = career year). Take best offer. Same with Guerin (in the works) and even the injured Doug Weight, due back from IR by the playoffs. Parlay Dean McAmmond — who looks alive since coming over for Comrie — for scraps. If someone somehow asked me for Jeff Tambellini — who can’t score outside of the shootout or the AHL — I’d pay his airfare and meal tab.

Obviously, the Islanders don’t have much left to sell. But there is one outstanding issue: Brendan Witt, who was capable last season yet awful this one. He doesn’t seem to fit Scott Gordon’s system, yet he has two years left on his contract. While it’s tempting to take the first offer that’s not a prank, on this I’d play the psychology game and wait for that one vulnerable GM with the happy trigger finger. The GM whose team just got pushed around in a conference battle this week and has him (and his fans) second-guessing whether his otherwise loaded team is the proverbial “tough enough for the playoffs.” Find that GM, demand a ransom (like a 1st-round pick and/or real prospect) for this battle-tested warrior [cue “Braveheart” soundtrack during GM call], and let him know I’d be just as happy waiting to deal Witt in the offseason for the scraps he’s currently offering me. If he bites, genius! If not, meh, try to unload or reprogram Witt in the summer.

It goes without saying that, for any and all of the returns for these players, I would persuade Charles Wang to wait until the picks become actual stars before offering them decade-plus contracts. But that’s just me.

Chris Kontos: Get rid of Witt before he starts taking cheap shots on his own players. And definitely keep losing to get Tavares. Then hire Mike Milbury again so that he’ll trade Tavares for Rico Fata and Radek Bonk.

James O’Brien: Haha, hard to top Chris on that one. As I’ve said, Ilya Kovalchuk + Jon Tavares = possible salvation. Or at least the first few steps. Trade everyone. EVERRRRYYYYOOONNNNNEEEE.

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New Jersey Devils

3/01

John Fischer fromIn Lou We Trust

If I were the GM of the Devils, I would be hanging up the phone and saying the phrase “Sorry, but we’re not interested” over and over again over the next few days. Especially if the call begins with “We would like to know the availability of Travis Zajac or Johnny Oduya.” Basically, I’d ignore the trade deadline unless a team really, really wants Scott Clemmensen or Kevin Weekes and is offering an offensive defenseman.

2/27

Daniel Owens from Frozen Fiend

If I were Loophole Lou …

I’d pluck Avery off waivers just to make sure the Rangers didn’t get him. Then I would fire Sutter and take over the coaching reins myself. And last but not least, I would play Weekes on the last day of the season to make sure Toronto doesn’t make the playoffs.

Seriously though, I’m not sure that there is anything to do. It’s not like a Rupp/Clemmer/draft pick/prospect package is going to be enough to get any player of significance in return. And I don’t think that anything more than that would be worth giving up.
“Hey, David Poile, we’re trying to get the band back together. I’ll trade you this bag of pucks for Arnott. Come on, whattaya say?”

The current Devils lineup is the one that took over first place in the Atlantic. Why change a thing?

Chris Kontos: Much like the Predators are amazing to James, the Devils’ success continue to boggle my mind. And since Brodeur is having such a hard time (/sarcasm) adjusting to being back… I’d say the Devils are in fantastic shape. I think getting rid of Weekes for a draft pick or so would be a great move.

James O’Brien: Ugh, Loophole Lou is getting old. Scott Clemmensen puts up great numbers and … is sent to the AHL? It’s not as bad as banishing Alexander Mogilny, but it’s pretty obnoxious.

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Philadelphia Flyers (EDIT: WE HAVE A GUEST POST WOOOO!)

Submitted by: Flyers Goal Scored By (March 4)If We were GMS,
Well first off, we’d sneak into Ed Snider’s office, skim a little off the top of his massive piggybank, and get to the store for the trade-deadline-day specials: 2 cases of Sierra Nevada, a pack of smokes, some condoms, and massive amounts of beef jerky.

We then would put everyones’ names around a dartboard, chug out 3 beers, and then fire 4 darts to see who is going. Then really hot souf philly girls would come into our office and tell us how awesome we were at “GM’ing” and then totally make out with each other, and then us, and then back to each other until 3pm. Then we’d high-five and crush a cheesesteak before falling asleep to old Rick Tocchet highlights. Being a GM rules…..

In reality, we’d be stressed as shit if we were the Flyers GM. They are getting constant pressure from the media and fans about “making a move”. So one just has to ask, “What’s worth making a move for?”. If we were GMs, we’d be targeting two players, J-Bo and Nikky Backstrom. Since the Wild secured their #1 goalie, that leaves the Flyers with some run-of-the-mill talent to look at. No one can convince me that Bryzgolov or Lehtonen are better than Biron or Nitty. Our goalies are decent enough, and they will stop pucks. What they won’t be able to stop is 40+ shots a game. Enter in JBo. Everyone knows the Flyers need a big defenseman, and no one is sexier right now than Mr. Meester. But what to give up for the guy? Do we toss Florida our junior-college star in James VanRiemsdyk or our blossoming sniper Claude Giroux? There answer is no. Those guys are the future, and will be studly forr years to come. We give up guys who we don’t really want anymore. Guys who in college were cool Freshman year, but then as you got to know them and see how they act when they’re drunk, you’re like “Why am I friends with this guy? He peed on my couch!” There are 4 names out there that look expendable: Randy Jones, Matt Carle, Joffrey Lupul and Scottie Upshall. those guys are talented and are everyday players. Is that enough for JBo? Well, we’ll have to wait and see.

Bottom line: If it’s not JBo, we’re not buying into it.

James O’Brien: Agreed: J-Bow or nothing.